“Well, a friend in need is a friend indeed.”
“I’ve never told you the story of Alice in Wonderland, have I?”
“Show me where Stalin is buried and I’ll show you a Communist Plot.”
“Nobody seems to know yet how television is going to affect the radio, movies, love, housekeeping or the church, but it has definitely revived vaudeville.”
“After 13 years of life on the half shell in Hollywood, I have made a trip where I wasn’t a tourist.”
“So many people are working in vaudeville today that I looked for three weeks to book enough acts for an hour bill and didn’t have them until the night before we opened in Buffalo and money was no object!”
“You find out your mistakes from an audience that pays admission.”
“Hey kid, do you want to come and talk to Charlie?”
“But Charlie, Charlie, how can we ever really know anything? Charlie, what or who is God?”
“I was asking Charlie the most important questions, and you heard the answers.”
“OK, magic boy, let’s see who you really are.”
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