“Some of the Christopher Guest movies, when I’m not really like myself, when I have my hair dyed blonde or had a faux-hawk haircut. Those I like to watch because it takes you away from your real self.”
“I never think I’m old enough to play someone’s dad, even though I have a daughter of my own and a grandson.”
“Looking back, I was a very good kid, very studious and all. But I would always come out with a quip – and I was sent to the principal’s office several times.”
“I still think ‘Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ was what they call one of those watershed movies. That and ‘The Exorcist’ and ‘Psycho’ were just landmarks for those horror films.”
“When we need a policeman, God bless ’em, they’re there. But, if you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, everything seems suspicious.”
“It’s more fun in a way to do ensemble scenes, where you know your background, you know the scene, but you can’t prepare because someone else is going to say something that is going to lead you off.”
“I love working with Ty Burrell.”
“I saw the ‘Wizard of Oz’ recently and realized that, all my life, I thought they were real monkeys with wings. That’s how scary that movie was for me.”
“It scared me to death to think about improv, but I got hired for a year at Second City in Chicago, which made me nervous, but I found I could improvise. Then I was in a group called the Ace Trucking Company, which we’d do, like, a half hour set of material, then open up for improvisation.”
“I think my wife saw a picture of the rock group Journey, and they’re kind of aging, and the one guy had dyed blonde hair with black roots, and… my idea was to get a little earring, I wanted to have a dangling earring.”
“Suddenly you’re like a pirate, you’re 65 years old and you’ve got an earring.”
“It’s such a pleasure to work in these movies, it’s almost like it’s not really happening.”
“Someone I’ve always admired is Catherine O’Hara… I think she’s one of the best actresses in the country, not only comedy. I just think she’s just a step aside from everybody, she’s just wonderful.”
“I just admire everybody and sit in awe and watch them.”
“Cleveland is my hometown, and the Indians have a narrow but rich history.”
“I don’t know why my lines that were cut from the film didn’t make it onto the DVD. I have offered to go into the editing room with Christopher and work shoulder to shoulder with him to fit all my lines in. I think he thinks I’m kidding. I’m only trying to help.”
“I once was in a project. They were going to do a remake. Somebody started a rumor I wanted more money. I said, ‘This is ridiculous. I’d kill for this project!’”
“I did a show called ‘Lois & Clark’ – it was about Superman – years ago. They wanted someone to play the president of the United States. The plot was the president got kidnapped by a group, and they made a clone of him, who was very irresponsible and silly.”
“I’ve found over the years that for some reason, people either are big fans and have to use me, or they don’t quite understand what I’m doing.”
“God bless Chris Guest… and I mean it sincerely.”
“I guess it’s from going to Virginia Military Institute. I’m a good person to follow orders.”
“My first improv was Second City in Chicago. Before that, I worked at – with a partner, doing comedy sketches.”
“There’s different kinds of improv. There’s Second City improv where you try to slowly build a nice sketch. There’s stuff you do in college coffee houses where you just go joke, joke, joke. Bring another funny character with a funny hat on his head. Christopher Guest is more the line of trying to get a story out.”
“The ‘Tim And Eric’ experience was very strange.”
“Christopher Guest, he’ll call and say, ‘We’re doing this movie, and I’d like you to play _’ and he gives you the character, then I always like to enlarge on the character.”
“That’s always a funny thing, when people think they’re known for every little thing they ever did, and they’re really not.”
“Tobe Hooper – he did my favorite horror movie, ‘Texas Chain Saw Massacre.’ It’s still one of my favorite horror films.”
“If I have to play an obnoxious character, try to find a redeeming feature of him. The most obnoxious people in the world were people, and they had had a reason for doing what they did. So you try to find that and let the obnoxiousness come out.”
“I never got any advice in acting.”
“Let me say this: I have said, any time, if it’s Martin Mull, I will say yes. If it’s Christopher Guest, I will say yes.”
“If you’re a cheerleader, people see you. If you’re a mascot, you’re just helping out.”
“I guess if you’re a professional mascot, you’re doing it for the money, but a college mascot just wants to be out there.”
“When you think about accountants, who would want to be an accountant? But, what would we do without accountants? Whether it’s soldiers or garbage men or doctors, everyone has the thing that they love.”
“Bob Balaban is so perfect that the first movie I did with him, I couldn’t talk to him because I was so intimidated by him.”
“All America is familiar with the Yankee-Dodger-Giant trivia, but so many other teams had great moments.”
“I first became interested in ‘great moments’ when I read about the famous Feller-to-Boudreau pickoff play in the 1948 World series.”
“One of the first shows I ever did was ‘Laverne & Shirley.’ I played this sleazy guy that came into town with a friend and was going to date Laverne and Shirley, but we really wanted to get into the bowling alley because it was next to the bank we wanted to rob.”
“I think if you have a funny thought, and you want to get off a funny point, try to do it as realistically as you can. If you try to act it funny and accent the funny points, or do it in a funny style, you kind of lose it.”
“I love sketch; it’s my favorite form. But if it’s all improv, they’re either very good, and it’s annoying how good they are, and it makes you feel bad, or they’re not too good; then you’re sweating for them.”
“I’ll go in a minute to see a sketch show.”
“It’s not a bad typecast: the goofy guy.”
“I had just done a movie called ‘How to Beat the High Cost of Living,’ and it didn’t get a good review. And the same people sent me the script for ‘Airplane!’ for the Robert Hays part. I read it, and there were a lot of plays on words, and I said, ‘I don’t like this kind of comedy.’”
“I just look back, and I say, you know, Christopher Guest just raised my whole career to another level.”
“People still quote my lines from ‘Best in Show.’”
“I’ve been in a lot of shows, I will say that. Every once in a while, I’ll look at a tape of something I’ve done, and I won’t even remember having done it.”
“Getting those parts in the Christopher Guest movies was the second biggest helper to my career after ‘Fernwood.’”
“When I started, there was a phase where I wanted to be a cowboy star. I didn’t want to do deep, serious parts.”
“I loved Bob Hope and the way he would turn to the camera and break the fourth wall.”
“Comedy always came easier for me. But I would have loved to have been an action hero.”
“If you’re going to take a risk as a comic, make sure it’s surrounded by other things that you’re certain are funny.”
“Comedy relieves you. A lot of times, we think we’re the only people bothered by certain things. Then you hear a comic say, ‘Don’t you hate it when…’ And it’s, ‘Oh, my God! Of course!’”
“A great director is someone who makes you feel like you’re moving forward.”
“One of the great things about kids is they haven’t heard a lot of the old jokes. You can get away with the corny ones.”
“I love to draw, although I wish I was better at it.”
“I have great respect for the authorities.”
“As an actor, and as you get to a certain level… and it’s pilot season and you read the trades, you could have a nervous breakdown. ‘So-and-so’s signed for a pilot. Why aren’t I?’”
“Everybody I run into goes, ‘Hey, ‘Best in Show!” Or, ‘Hey, that dog movie!’ which I don’t mind because I’m not too good on titles.”
“In most cities, it doesn’t cost much to put your own show on a local access channel, so you get all sorts of strange stuff on the air.”
“There’s this whole underground world of amateur television production.”
“How can we say any one actor’s work was better than another’s?”
“Martin Landau in ‘Crimes and Misdemeanors’ – he gave me chills.”
“If I like a movie, I see no reason not to go back for Parts 2, 3, 4, etc.”
“’Field of Dreams.’ Definitely one of the best baseball films of all time. When Kevin Costner spoke to his dad, and his dad answered, I, um, I mean a lot of guys I know couldn’t help crying.”
“I like to play the guy that has no self-awareness.”
“’Fernwood 2-Night’ didn’t help me too much when it was first on.”
“I’ve never crossed over to be a big star. I’d like to be in a big $100 million movie, though. ‘Cause I was in an ‘Austin Powers,’ I think I had two lines, and every once in a while, I get a check, a really nice check, for that movie.”
“I have a guy who does my hair. He’s a car nut. And he was taking motorcycle lessons. And, what was my point?”
“Comedy is harder, because if there’s no laughs, it’s pretty bad. But drama, if there’s no reaction, you can say, ‘Well, it’s not their cup of tea. Maybe it’s too heavy for the audience.’”
“With improv or a full length play – you know how you go to a theater, and after 10 minutes you say, ‘Oh, I don’t like this thing,’ but you don’t want to get up and leave? At a sketch show, it’s always something new every few minutes.”
“If you’re not doing something right, you can feel it on stage, and if it isn’t going well, the audience will tell you. A teacher can teach you sense memory and this and that, but until you get in front of an audience, you don’t really feel it.”
“I always loved comedy growing up – Bob Hope, Red Skelton and Danny Kaye.”
“I have always been more relaxed around comedy.”
“I used to collect autographs outside of the old Cleveland Stadium. I can still remember everyone who took the time and spent a few minutes to make your day. That sticks with you.”
“I’ll talk your ear off if you recognize me.”
“After working with Wayne Brady, Colin Mochrie, and Jonathan Mangum, I said, ‘I am never going to talk about improv again.’”
“I think everyone has a door in their brain that says, ‘Do not exit here.’ If you go past it, you’ll find all the dumb thoughts in there, all the stupid things that shouldn’t be said. I’ve probably gone there more than anyone should in a given lifetime.”
“I’ve always wanted to be on a soap opera.”
“Because I started my career in improv, performing with Second City and the Ace Trucking Company, I always enjoy being in situations where – as an actor – you have to think fast & be light on your feet.”
“I really enjoy working on ‘Modern Family.’”
“My father passed away when I was 12, so it was very difficult. But I was always the class clown. I don’t know why – maybe as an escape. But then I was sent away to military prep school.”
“My stepfather was a military man: he was in the Air Force. Reserve. You thought he’d seen front-line action, but he was stationed in Cleveland.”
“I was an only child.”
“I’d love to have Burt Reynolds’ career.”
“I love San Francisco!”
“I guess the essence of my comedy is to get into a very abnormal situation but act like it’s normal.”
“I am re-collecting the baseball cards my mom had thrown out when I went away to school. You know you are an adult when you can buy a whole set of baseball cards instead of two packs at a time.”
“To a New Yorker, a 1948 Indians World Series baseball signed by the whole team might be worth only $200 to $300, but to a Clevelander like myself, it might be, like, $1,000 to $2,000.”
“I just love everything that Disney and Pixar do. Not only do they do beautiful films, but they have great messages for kids.”
“I try to shy away from playing cranky people, but if it’s just a funny next-door neighbor or business man, I’ll say, ‘Sure, why not?’”
“I like the characters that have some redeeming quality or if it’s interesting to me in any way.”
“The witch in ‘Snow White’ is a very scary image.”
“Kids can relate to having some scary person living near their house. They can relate to, ‘Hey, don’t go near that house.’ We all can.”
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