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Top 100 Tom Green Quotes in 2020

By: Quotes Guru | Last Updated: June 19, 2020

“How can we be free when we are prisoners to social media, in a world without privacy? How can we be free when our every movement is tracked and every conversation is recorded and can easily be held against us? How exactly are we free if we are tethered to our cell phones?”

― Tom Green

“The dirty little secret that nobody likes to talk about is that things just might have been better before the Internet. We had more time to ourselves before cell phones and text messaging and Facebook consumed our lives.”

― Tom Green

“With the long-format interview, I can get into really interesting conversations with my guests. You know what it’s like to get the opportunity to speak to really interesting people and pick their brain about things. To have time to let a guest actually speak and tell a story and get into detail is really exciting.”

― Tom Green

“I like keeping people guessing. I like to have fun with them wondering if I’m sane or not.”

― Tom Green

“Social media is making us more anti-social.”

― Tom Green

“Before the cell phone and the Internet, you felt a more pure sense of liberty than we do today. Whenever you left the house, and the phone, in your kitchen attached to the wall, nobody was able to get a hold of you.”

― Tom Green

“All comedy is really talking about social issues and things that are affecting our lives.”

― Tom Green

“There is something romantic about the world being a diverse place, where every place has a Starbucks and Denny’s.”

― Tom Green

“For about three or four years, I was in a lot more physical pain and stress than anybody knew. When I would meet people, I was kind of standoffish. That was because I was in a bit of a funk.”

― Tom Green

“It bothers me when people say ‘shock comic’ or ‘gross-out’ because that was only one type of comedy I did. There was prank comedy. Man-on-the-street-reaction comedy. Visually surreal comedy. But you do something shocking, and that becomes your label.”

― Tom Green

“When my first show was on MTV, and it was this outrageous persona, I think people certainly didn’t know what to think. But it was a performance. I’m sure people didn’t know that it was a performance; they thought maybe I was just nuts, but that was all intentional.”

― Tom Green

“The easiest way to win the competition for eyeballs in the digital age is to broadcast bad behavior. People like watching train wrecks.”

― Tom Green

“I lived in my parents’ basement until the age of 25 while I was trying to get my TV show off the ground.”

― Tom Green

“In 1980s, I discovered ‘Late Night with David Letterman.’ It was on one of the 13 cable TV channels. They didn’t have 25 late night talk show hosts trying to be the most outrageous. There was the likeable television genius Johnny Carson and his mad-genius counterpart Dave. There was nothing else crazy on TV every night, and there was no Internet.”

― Tom Green

“I used to do stand-up when I was in high school. But I was also making beats for this rap group, and when we got a record deal, I sort of stopped doing the comedy and focused on the music instead. When that ended, I decided to go back to school, take broadcasting, and start my show on public-access TV.”

― Tom Green

“I think somebody getting repulsed is a positive reaction. Any reaction is positive.”

― Tom Green

“If something becomes mean-spirited and hurtful, it’s not funny.”

― Tom Green

“I’m talking about some real subjects and issues in my standup. I’m attempting to make a point about technology and how it’s changing our society and our lives, and our addiction to social media, and how it affects marriages and relationships.”

― Tom Green

“I want people to know that I’m not just this crazy person flailing around. A lot of thought goes into what I do.”

― Tom Green

“As comedians, we all get into that mode of thinking of the worst thing imaginable – but you usually have the ability to pull back before releasing it to the world.”

― Tom Green

“When I’m 65 and still performing every week, I’d like people to say, ‘You know, when that guy was a kid, he made these weird, crazy videos?’ And they’ll have to go look for them – rather than it being the first thing they know about me.”

― Tom Green

“I’ll be straight with you. It’s not easy to sell tickets in Vegas. I’m up against Celine Dion and Britney Spears.”

― Tom Green

“When I was a television broadcasting student in 1993 up in Ottawa, Canada, and my friends and I started making a show, I consciously set out to apply comedy to technology. I started tomgreen.com back in 1994, and we weren’t able to put video on there yet, but we were aware that that was coming.”

― Tom Green

“I do sometimes find it interesting when I look at a lot of the pranks that are out there, and I see kids doing the exact things that I did in the ’90s. Like, I would go out on the street on crutches and fall down, and people would help me. Or I would paint my parents’ house plaid; I’ve seen that replicated.”

― Tom Green

“When I was younger, I was emulating David Letterman. David Letterman would yell out of his office window with a megaphone, and the next thing I’m doing is standing on the roof of a parking garage with a megaphone.”

― Tom Green

“Not many people get that chance to have multiple studios wanting you to make a movie with them.”

― Tom Green

“I tend to sit around with my friends a lot and rant and rave about things I think are ridiculous in the world, and I tend to make fun of myself a lot.”

― Tom Green

“I don’t really like to just sit down at a computer and write, because that tends to be a little forced.”

― Tom Green

“I tend to find comedy in dark places. I also tend to find comedy in taking on the status quo – which has always been something I find important.”

― Tom Green

“Whenever I do something, I tend to focus on it and spend all of my time and energy on it.”

― Tom Green

“The moment for me, thinking I might actually want to do comedy professionally, was when I did public speaking at school. I found out I was good at getting up in front of class. In the fifth grade, I did a speech on comedy.”

― Tom Green

“It would be a dream to perform at Radio City Music Hall.”

― Tom Green

“I don’t want to make fun of somebody because of the way they look, where they’re from, or their religion.”

― Tom Green

“Sometimes it’s nice when you go out on the road, and you come back, and your girlfriend’s left you. You have complete freedom at that point.”

― Tom Green

“I was a huge fan of Tom Snyder.”

― Tom Green

“I have the version of me where I’m interviewing someone, where I definitely am the straight man, and I like to show a lot of respect to my guest and let them take the reins. I don’t like to compete with my guests. I don’t like to be funnier than my guests or get into a ‘Who’s wackier?’ sort of thing.”

― Tom Green

“The thing to keep in mind is that’s how I started long before MTV and Twitter and Facebook. I studied at broadcasting school so I could learn how to shoot and edit videos, and tried to create my own television show so we could see through these wacky visions we had of funny bits we wanted to shoot.”

― Tom Green

“It’s so nice to be able to get up on stage and just say the most disgusting, ridiculous, outrageous, offensive thing, knowing it’s just between you and the audience.”

― Tom Green

“Whenever you go on TV, there are so many checks and balances; it’s a big business with a lot of rules. Stand-up is intimate and the freest, most lawless place I’ve ever been able to go.”

― Tom Green

“I do sometimes talk about my cancer because that’s something people relate to a lot, as we’re all going to die. Because I’ve been close to death and won, I have strong opinions about it, and I’ve learned how to discuss it and keep the energy high in the show.”

― Tom Green

“I like to do something that gets a real reaction from people.”

― Tom Green

“Everyone on ‘The Apprentice’ hates each other. They put you in a room, and they don’t give you anything to do. They leave you there for 10 hours… they don’t give you any food or water, and you start getting angry and arguing with each other.”

― Tom Green

“If YouTube had existed in 1999, I wouldn’t have had a show. And if YouTube had existed in 1999, I wouldn’t have wanted to do the show, because I couldn’t imagine clips from it following me a decade later.”

― Tom Green

“You might remember me from Eminem’s rap lyrics.”

― Tom Green

“It was just a very short period of time that I had a brief marriage.”

― Tom Green

“I’ve got friends all around the world, but it still never ceases to amaze me when I come to a place on the other side of the planet that I’ve always imagined going to, and to get there and be meeting people all over on the street who know me – it’s very exciting and humbling.”

― Tom Green

“I found myself trying to work within the Los Angeles system. I had an agent and a manager, which I still do, and going to meetings with networks about game shows and reality shows and projects that weren’t mine. It was fun, but it wasn’t what I’d set out to do.”

― Tom Green

“I really missed what I’d done on Rogers Cable, which was shooting and editing all my own stuff.”

― Tom Green

“Yes, I worked hard to put together an experimental show on a budget of zero. But I was not being exploited by anyone. I was in charge.”

― Tom Green

“After my show and others like it began airing on TV, network executives started to see that there was a market for outrageous, over-the-top content.”

― Tom Green

“Steve Jobs is considered an amazing genius and made billions of dollars. Sure, we overlook that he didn’t pay his share of taxes and didn’t believe in charity. But other than these occasional rumblings of dissent, he is pretty much held in high esteem.”

― Tom Green

“I have a different perspective on the world than the way I looked at the world when I was 20. I was kind of naive. I’m a cancer survivor, been working in this industry for a time, and older with more opinions, more experience.”

― Tom Green

“I love playing in Vegas because you’ve got people from all over the world, and you’re already accepted. It’s kind of a great mixture of people that come out to the shows, and that makes it fun.”

― Tom Green

“I’d love to interview Mark Cuban!”

― Tom Green

“I’ve always found success in sort of separating myself from the pack mentality things.”

― Tom Green

“I’m incredibly proud to bring back ‘Tom Green Live’ for a third season on AXS TV. AXS TV’s commitment to unique, out-of-the-box humor, in a completely open and uncensored format, is unparalleled.”

― Tom Green

“When you work in television, working for a big corporation, no matter who you are, you can always get cancelled. That sucks. Do you really want to work with an axe over your head for the rest of your life? Not me, not really, and not if you don’t have to.”

― Tom Green

“The truth of the matter is, I worry about nearly every bit I’ve ever done. I’m very critical of myself.”

― Tom Green

“You can’t let regret stifle your creativity.”

― Tom Green

“I’m a different guy on stage.”

― Tom Green

“I’m a little bit of a techie.”

― Tom Green

“I knew at an early age that I wanted to pursue comedy.”

― Tom Green

“I’ve always liked outrageous comedy and pushing the envelope.”

― Tom Green

“I basically went into broadcasting when I was in college because I knew that there was nothing like what I had in my mind on TV at the time.”

― Tom Green

“I clearly remember what it was like before Facebook and before cellphones. They didn’t have any of that when I was in high school.”

― Tom Green

“I’ve always tried to do things a little bit before they were being done by the mainstream. I challenge myself to do that in stand-up also, to talk about things that I’m not hearing anybody talk about onstage and in the media.”

― Tom Green

“I’ve always really enjoyed sounds and alliteration and funny words and funny melodies.”

― Tom Green

“I have so much more fun doing stand-up. I can’t even begin to explain.”

― Tom Green

“It takes a long time to put a movie together. It can take years.”

― Tom Green

“When I started doing stand-up again, a lot of it was coming from an angrier place, and I quickly learned that doesn’t spell a good time in a comedy club.”

― Tom Green

“All of my old videos and the things I did on MTV, my old public access show – it was sort of all made for the Web, even though they were made before the Internet was broadcasting video.”

― Tom Green

“I first met the ‘Trailer Park Boys’ when they did my web television show, and since then, I’ve hung out with them a few times.”

― Tom Green

“I don’t watch a whole lot of television, to be honest, but I do miss music videos.”

― Tom Green

“I used to love ‘The Late Late Show.’ It was nice to be able to be up late at night and see an extended conversation.”

― Tom Green

“I always have gotten nervous before every show. But the second I step onstage, it’s all gone. It’s sort of like an adrenaline rush for me.”

― Tom Green

“My show on MTV, as outrageous as it was, it was also making a point, which was, ‘Look at what we’re doing here. This is something that you don’t see on television every day, because you’re not allowed to do this on television.’”

― Tom Green

“I could sit here and say, ‘What would have happened if I hadn’t made that crazy television show, if I hadn’t made those crazy movies?’ Well, I’d be back in Canada working at Dairy Queen.”

― Tom Green

“Vegas is exciting, and it’s nice to be somewhere on a regular basis rather than just criss-crossing the country. It allows me to have a semblance of a life.”

― Tom Green

“When you get older, you look at who has power differently. When you’re 21 years old, and you do something ridiculous at the National Art Gallery and get kicked out by the security guard, in your mind, you’re speaking truth to power.”

― Tom Green

“It’s nice to go skating in a parking lot and hang out with people who aren’t talking about their next movie role.”

― Tom Green

“I recommend people don’t get in high-profile marriages. There are a lot of people in the world. You don’t have to marry someone with their own team of publicists, managers, agents, and lawyers.”

― Tom Green

“I assumed I’d never be divorced.”

― Tom Green

“Performing on stage is addictive. The adrenaline rush is exhilarating. When I stop touring for a couple weeks, I get antsy.”

― Tom Green

“If I ever interview somebody, I make sure I listen to them. As a comedian, I’ve gone on so many shows, I’ve wanted to take things to a crazy place. Sometimes the hosts don’t like that.”

― Tom Green

“I grew up practically getting into this business because of David Letterman. I wanted to do comedy-based interviews.”

― Tom Green

“Comedy is delivered to people in the same form that music is being delivered: by YouTube. People are sharing music and comedy in the same way now.”

― Tom Green

“I think all comedy has victims, really. Even if it’s not a victim that appears on camera, usually there’s a victim. If it’s political comedy, if you’re talking about the president or whoever, there’s a victim there.”

― Tom Green

“I’m always making micro-adjustments onstage, listening to the audience, and what a crowd is like can be infectious.”

― Tom Green

“If an audience is loud and in a party mode, that’s an audience that can absorb comedy.”

― Tom Green

“When I started my show, it was a public access show in Canada, and I was a broadcasting student in the early ’90s, years before I was on MTV. We were kids sort of experimenting and trying to take on the system – you know, the media machine.”

― Tom Green

“I’ve always had fun looking forward, seeing where technology is going, and finding interesting ways of applying that to comedy.”

― Tom Green

“Technology can’t eliminate the need for people going to want to go out and see theater and standup comedy.”

― Tom Green

“I try to make a point in my life to leave the cell phone in the car sometimes, to try to unplug as much as possible.”

― Tom Green

“Drew is a wonderful woman. I love her very much. I wish our marriage could have worked out. I wish her much happiness.”

― Tom Green

“I was happy to be turning 40. It was a good one.”

― Tom Green

“I definitely think L.A. would be a very difficult city to move to and try to make it in. There’s a lot of people down there, and it’s tough to stand out in the crowd.”

― Tom Green

“I don’t really consider myself an actor, and I don’t know if I’m a comedian.”

― Tom Green

“I essentially have always directed everything on my TV show without using that title; I edited and wrote all my stuff.”

― Tom Green

“I think that young people – teenagers, college-age people, anyone under the age of 30 – know when they’re being pandered to.”

― Tom Green

“Certainly, every movie has to be looked at differently. But I think what happens is, every couple of years, a movie comes along that everybody then tries to copy.”

― Tom Green

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