“I’ve accepted that we’ve all got crap to deal with and problems that we’re fighting not to be defined by. At the end of the day, we all want the same stuff: fulfillment, love, support, comfort, and a hot-air balloon with laser guns attached to it. The most important thing is that we appreciate the crazy ride we’re on.”
“A lot of the time, when people meet someone in a wheelchair, or with some disability, it’s the first thing they notice, but they don’t know how to react.”
“We’ve all got hurdles we have to overcome, and mine are not necessarily any bigger than anyone else’s.”
“People tend to treat people with disabilities sort of like they’re aliens from another planet. It doesn’t come from a bad place; it comes from a place of, ‘I have no idea what this disability entails, and I don’t want to offend anyone or make them feel awful.’”
“My best advice to anybody who has a child with a disability is to really find the tools for that person to thrive and find what their true passions are, because the rest will follow.”
“Religion is something we don’t talk about, and it is used by uneducated people as a weapon to divide us as opposed to connect with each other.”
“Most people are really dedicated to doing good things.”
“I’d love to be ‘People Magazine”s Sexiest Man Alive, but I think that that’s a ways off. I have to stop wearing sweat pants, and then we’ll work on that.”
“I don’t subscribe to the idea that if you don’t have the body you want, you can’t be proud of the body you have. I think you can do both.”
“I use an electric wheelchair because I have no sense of balance, and muscle spasticity has arched my spine like a cat’s, while my legs are really just for show.”
“For me, cerebral palsy wasn’t the biggest deal, because I always had it. You know, you always work with what you got.”
“Over the years, I learned that in my career, unlike in life, sometimes my wheelchair is its own automatic door opener. I was able to win the OWN competition by applying one simple principle: be funny, and admit you suck before anyone else can call you out on it. In other words, make the narrative of your failure a comedy.”
“Spontaneity is what travel is all about.”
“Over the years, I’ve learned that a sense of humor is the only skill that allows you to turn sucking at life into a career.”
“When I got my Oprah money, the first thing I bought was a really nice electronic bidet toilet seat.”
“I’m down for adventure and up for anything.”
“My childhood was great because my family has an amazing sense of humor, and it was just all making videos and jokes and doing skits and things.”
“My parents instilled in me a sense of self that I was more than just a diagnosis or a condition.”
“I was basically the person at Disney World that was in charge of clearing the park when it was closed… I was the guy… telling them to ‘get the hell out and have a magical day.’”
“When I get real excited, my muscles go into spasm, so they just shake.”
“I’d wanted to be famous for as long as I could remember.”
“When I was five years old, I auditioned for the role of ‘Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol.’”
“The only two characters I can play convincingly are myself and a dumber and sweeter version of myself.”
“The Internet is crazy, and I love it!”
“New Yorkers – the people are so honest. If you’re sucking on stage, they’ll let you know.”
“This country is pretty amazing.”
“My stance has always been that my issue compared to everything else going on in the world is really, really small. Once you realize that, you can get a lot more out of being a part of the solution.”
“Even the most embarrassing mishap can be spun into comedic gold.”
“I’ve been a comedian, hosted travel shows, explored world religions, started improv troupes, given keynote speeches at conferences around the country, and had a milk shake named after me called the Handicappuccino.”
“There’s no denying it: I was a crappy baby who failed his way into this world, and I’ve been making the best of it ever since.”
“I’m not saying ‘I have cerebral palsy, pay attention to me.’ We all have problems, and we have to figure out how to live our best life.”
“I think you can feel good about yourself at any size and any shape. Nobody should be made to feel inferior because they have a certain body type.”
“It’s ridiculous that we are in a place where we feel like we can classify and dismiss certain groups of people just because of the way they look, or we have these standards of health – like, cellulite is something you need to get rid of. No, it isn’t. It’s just a part of people’s bodies.”
“My family is weird in a very good way because I was always exposed to the arts.”
“I want to find a way to speak to the broadest audience possible.”
“Religion is such an important part of so many people’s lives, and I don’t understand it at all.”
“My grandmother was a church organist, but we only went on Easter and Christmas Eve sometimes.”
“Talking to people is important to me as someone who has cerebral palsy. I know what it’s like to have people not talking to me because they are scared they would ask the wrong question, but I would rather have an honest dialogue as long as it comes from an honest place.”
“My parents and my brother instilled in me my sense of humor. That’s kind of the way we communicate with each other, and it’s always been a way for me to get to know people.”
“Depending on where my self-confidence was, growing up, I would use humor either to bring people closer, or to keep them away from certain feelings I had.”
“Humor disarms people. It opens them up to starting a dialogue about things they wouldn’t normally talk about. I don’t understand how people who don’t have a sense of humor get through life.”
“Even when something sad or tragic happens, I find a way to look at it in a positive light. People who don’t have a sense of humor must be so sad all the time.”
“It’s amazing how many companies aren’t really in tune to the needs of different travelers. There’s just so many embarrassing situations that you go through when you travel. You have to have a sense of humor about it and take it in stride. My whole approach is to embrace spontaneity.”
“I have one of the worst voices in the history of recorded time.”
“My grandma was a church organist for 40 years, and she got me into jazz music and great songwriters, Harold Arlen, George Gershwin, all those folks. I can’t do it, but I have a profound respect for it.”
“I’ve always wanted to do a travel show for people who never thought they could.”
“Humour allows people to exhale a little.”
“I want to make sure that people know that I can only be myself – I can’t be a spokesperson for people with disabilities, because everybody has a completely different experience. I’m glad that I’m able to inspire parents to see one way to deal with it, but at the same time, I tell a lot of dirty jokes.”
“When people think of me, I want them to think of a travel show host who’s really funny and good at his job, and I think eventually the CP won’t even play into it, or at least that’s the goal.”
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