“The good part about getting older is you stop trying to prove anything to anyone, including yourself. All you are in the pursuit of is collecting experiences – beautiful, fragile little soap bubbles that you store in your heart, and every once in a while you pull one out and gaze at the delicate pictures it shows you.”
“I don’t need an alarm clock to wake up in the morning. Akshay snores so loudly that I’m usually awake the entire night!”
“I like to see the world from different levels. Even when I’m making a candle or designing a piece, I like to sit on the floor to polish or make it from scratch. I haven’t seen really tough times, but my husband has come up the hard way. He has even seen poverty.”
“Eat carbohydrates: All these protein diets may help you twirl prettily in a size-2 dress, but if you want your mind to take a few marvelous leaps, then you have to give it the food it needs.”
“Now that I look back, all the things that I was teased about, became game changers and my strengths. That’s what we have to learn as mothers. We push our children so much to be perfect, but it’s their imperfections that make them unique.”
“I actually believe we are the superior gender. Why are we superior? Statistically, we outlive men by a good 10 years. No one should underestimate the power of nagging – it’s on par with nuclear weapons.”
“I don’t think I have a sense of fashion. But I do have an aesthetic, which I feel is an offshoot of me working in the design industry. For example, if I am mixing and matching prints on my sofas and cushion covers, I tend to do that with my wardrobe as well.”
“Sometimes I do give in to a scoop of sitaphal ice cream from Naturals or a chocolate chip cookie.”
“I start my day with a hot water and lemon routine. I meditate. And I take my problems lightly, like my mother always said: treat them like helium balloons and let them go. I devour a lot of books to feed my mind.”
“I’m a different person who’s not my father or my mother. I want to be treated differently from them. I am myself, Twinkle Khanna. I am proud of being the daughter of such illustrious parents, but I would not like to be compared with them time and again.”
“I think every woman should have the skills and confidence to be able to earn a living. A working woman is happy because she has goals beyond herself and her needs.”
“You won’t believe it, but my grandfather named me. And the choices were between Sparkle, Sprinkle and Twinkle. So, thank God, they chose Twinkle.”
“Naming me ‘Twinkle’ was a foolproof way of making sure that I would get teased throughout my life, have immigration officers at various airports stare at my passport and shake with hysterical laughter, and strangers stalk me with WhatsApp messages like, ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, little star, I hope you get hit by a car!’”
“I had a multicultural exposure; that’s why I don’t believe in a particular religion. I have respect for most because I grew up surrounded by so many. I don’t judge people by that, and I feel extremely offended when people categorise based on race, religion, or gender.”
“I am into the candle business, have a home store, The White Window, and interior designing is my primary occupation, though writing now seems to have become better known.”
“My father believed in astrology. His astrologer had predicted that his daughter would become a writer someday. My father would nag me, but I didn’t write a word till he passed away. I wish he could see me now.”
“My frankness has got me into a lot of trouble. I try to temper it down now. As you get older, you get wiser.”
“I remember joining a boarding school in the sixth grade. I was lazy, complacent, and fat. Suddenly, I realised that I had to fend for myself. That’s when I discovered this drive within myself. For the first time, I ranked first in class, which was a miracle in itself. However, it didn’t matter to my family.”
“I’m not romantic; I’m very practical. There are lots of fish in the sea; so whoever gets struck with your rod, one is as good as another.”
“Sometimes kids want a hamburger, but I’ll fill it up with a quinoa tikki. We eat makhana instead of popcorn; we even take it to the movie theater! I also mash up a lot of vegetables and put it in the aata, so they don’t realise they are eating vegetables.”
“For all the oddballs and misfits out there, eventually, if you just follow your path, you will reach somewhere no one else has. You are uniquely meant to do something that only you can do.”
“Akshay’s idea of a romantic date is a six-kilometre jog, followed by 500 crunches… together! Eeeeks!”
“Walk, run, cycle – When you live inside your head for such long periods of time, you have to open the windows, air it out a bit, let sunlight stream into all the dark and dusty corners of your mind.”
“I never said I’m not a feminist! I wrote one column where I was being sarcastic, and I called myself a ‘wombist’. Now which sane person would say that ‘wombist’ is a better term than feminist? I was being sarcastic, and perhaps it was my fault in not getting the point across as clearly as I would have liked to. I don’t think there’s any doubt.”
“If people see anything I do and the way I live my life, there is no ambiguity about me being a feminist.”
“I live my life in a very peculiar way where nothing gets my goat as such. I don’t look at things in a manner where they offend me. I look at things in a manner where they amuse me.”
“’If The Weather Permits’ was closer to my heart because it was a woman closer to my age, with a contemporary background like mine. I felt for that character. I’ve seen so many women like that – smart women who are a wreck when it comes to their emotional lives.”
“I think when you wear so many hats, be it of a mom or a working woman, you need to feel good and look good as well.”
“Once, I went to the premiere of a film, and the producer asked me if I liked it. I said it’s crap. But I don’t say that anymore. Now I say I have to think about it. If you ever hear me say that, you know the answer!”
“I’m just a normal girl. People have these preconceived notions about what movie stars are about and how we’ve grown up. My mother is pretty regular and raised us just like anyone else.”
“I pretend that I was never in the movies. The only job I had before was selling prawns door to door. That’s what I tell myself. My kids have never seen my films. I’m too embarrassed to show them.”
“Do people think women from Bollywood aren’t smart?”
“I don’t take too many things too seriously.”
“No one has ever told me that I act badly. It is just that most of the films I did didn’t click.”
“’Barsaat’ was a wonderful experience, but it took a long time in the making, and that got very tedious.”
“I still remember, when I got my fees for ‘Barsaat,’ I ran into a car showroom and purchased a Maruti Esteem. I treasure that car more than anything else in the world.”
“’Mrs Funnybones’ is based and structured around my columns, and it’s about how a modern woman looks at India and how India looks right back at her. Since I have a weakness for illustrations, there are also a few funny illustrations in there as well.”
“The editor of a newspaper, who is an old friend, asked me to write a column. According to her, I cracked lame jokes all the time and read voraciously.”
“My husband has always been my biggest supporter, and my mother has finally joined the cheerleading team now that her friends have been telling her that they like my work as well.”
“I just wanted to say that there is so much goodness in the world. We keep looking at the terrible and diabolical things when we open newspapers.”
“To me, a life that doesn’t change things and touch people’s lives is pretty meaningless.”
“Standing in front of our hallway mirror, I am practising a few poses – one leg artfully bent, the opposite shoulder up – when the man of the house strides in and decides to share: a) I look like I have dislocated my shoulder and b) Has anyone ever told me I strongly resemble Tom Cruise?”
“Writing is a way of drifting within my own mind: almost a solitary process, so to speak.”
“I would have liked to be Birbal in Akbar’s court, but a court jester also suits me just fine.”
“Scripts didn’t exist during my time in Bollywood, or, at least, I was never given one. I don’t want to act at all and am happy in my cave.”
“I just became less rebellious with clothes, and today, I can slip into appropriate attire according to what the occasion requires, but off the red carpet, I am not that particular about what I wear, and comfort is my main priority.”
“My father was very fond of reading. It was something we did at our home. I don’t think it fits the way people think Bollywood works, but that’s who we are.”
“By the time I was in my teens, I was reading science fiction. I had this maternal uncle who had cartons of books. It’s important to read because you have to fill your head with words.”
“People feel feminists are aggressive, men-hating women with a little moustache. I think it’s got a bad reputation because when feminism came into being, we were facing so much opposition that we had to be strident and aggressive.”
“When your name is Twinkle, you are a bookworm, and a fat child, then you have to be ready to be made fun of. As a child, I used my fists a lot, but then the tongue seemed like a better option. So I started using words as a sword to jab fun at myself.”
“There was never a game plan to be on social media. Like most things in life, if you work consistently and at your pace, then things fall into place.”
“I was born into the limelight. So, my biggest achievement, which I worked hard for, is to stay normal.”
“Ultimately, there is no definition for smartness. It’s just the ability to do what you want to do really well.”
“Today, it’s about gender equality, not neutrality. Anyone who doesn’t agree would be a bit of an idiot.”
“Chiki Sarkar edited ‘Mrs Funnybones,’ and she is a ruthless but kind editor to work with. The only lesson I learnt during this process was to say, ‘Yes, Prime Minister,’ and re-write.”
“I like crisp words like ‘blimey’, ‘yikes’, ‘crap’ which describe consternation, embarrassment, and sometimes wonderment without making me type so many alphabets.”
“I’ve had my nose in a book my whole life. I never thought it would be useful, but it is now. What’s really nice is that I don’t have a photographic memory, so words get blurred, thoughts get mixed up, and they come out as something new.”
“I read science fiction every single day of my life. It’s my primary love.”
“Read everything you can get your hands on: Programme your mind to read all the time and everywhere – even in the bathroom; skim through the lines printed on the back of shampoo bottles and sanitary napkin packets.”
“Relish being an oddball: Well-behaved, well-adjusted people are hopeless storytellers and, honestly, terribly boring.”
“I learnt how to make candles when I was a kid. My mom used to make them. Then, when I broke my leg once and couldn’t really move around, I started playing around with it… putting the scent inside and dried flowers, and that’s it.”
“I’m not really as cool and collected as ‘Mrs. Funnybones’, but she is the woman I want to be.”
“I love to eat makhanas, and I always keep a packet in my car.”
“Sometimes it is okay to have some chocolates and ice-creams. We all have those days sitting in front of the TV and have those. But you have to have the balance.”
“I am not a gym person, so I do walk a lot. I find gym is incredibly boring. Other thing I do is to devour books because I feel we need to feed our mind as well.”
“Humour has to have a huge nugget of truth to be funny. You cannot laugh at something unbelievable. Whenever I say something on a lighter note, I am basically unwrapping the truth from a different perspective, and that makes it funny.”
“It is only through reading that one can understand how people are smarter than you and what they have left behind for you.”
“I think you have to be pragmatic to the approach of life and brutally honest with yourself. We all are here to do something, and it is important to understand our potential first.”
“The gratifying part of my journey is no one calls me a star child or a superstar’s wife anymore. I think I have grown beyond that and have my own identity.”
“Aamir once went behind a rock to cry because his director didn’t listen to what he was saying.”
“What is feminism? We are just asking for equal opportunities, nothing beyond that. It doesn’t mean that you cannot be pretty or you cannot cook or you can’t do a whole lot of things. Feminism’s got a bad rap; that’s it.”
“To me, it felt that if I give up my name, I am also sending a message to my children, saying my name was not important enough as your father’s; I am not as important as your father. That is a message we are passing down generation after generation without realising.”
“I’m constantly working. I am constantly going to the next thing.”
“We grow up, and we need to confront a society to be fit in.”
“My granny was always mourning about the fact I wear dull, stained jeans or don’t brush my hair.”
“My mother always wants me to put me on a diet.”
“I grew up in a bustling household of women with my mom, granny, and aunts. Seeing all these strong women taking charge of their lives and living it to the fullest was a great inspiration while growing up.”
“My husband and my son are both such positive-thinking optimists. Together, they’ve succeeded in making me a bit like them. I am looking at the brighter side of life and enjoying this phase of my life the most.”
“’Salaam, Noni Appa’ tells the beautiful story of the elderly Noni Appa, who finds love in the twilight of her life. The Noni Appa story gives you hope.”
“Strangely enough, I don’t mention my sister too much in my columns because she nags me and says, ‘Don’t make me look foolish. Don’t write nonsense about me. Don’t make jokes about me.’”
“I love Twitter. Here, I get pieces of information quickly, and I also get myriad viewpoints rather than a one-sided view from a particular newspaper. Here, I have got a topic and 11 viewpoints, and I can judge for myself.”
“I am not a performing seal. In your writing, you are tapping into the part that is ‘the best’ in you. But what you are also filters through in your writing your prejudices, your bitterness. I am not a pretentious person.”
“I am living in the world that I always dreamed of. I am still not living in a world where you can teleport matter from one place to another just by atoms. We haven’t reached there yet.”
“Some people are diplomatic, some people are outspoken, but the next generation is very clear. People are speaking their mind out. People are worried about other things besides their own careers. It’s not accurate to say that they don’t speak out.”
“I seem to be known as much by the moniker ‘Mrs Funnybones’ as my own name these days. The book was about how a modern woman looks at India and how India looks right back at her. I am glad that India seems to be looking back at me with a grin.”
“I have readers everywhere: from a radiologist who decides to compliment me on my writing while inserting a probe to check my ovaries to 80-year-olds who send me emails. And, of course, women my age everywhere.”
“I don’t really read non-fiction, but I have grown up on a steady diet of Wodehouse and, of course, science fiction.”
“Sometimes I am glad I am not a philosopher – how would I ever complete a single chain of thought when someone is constantly asking me to do something? I don’t think Plato would have been able to write his dialogues if he had a wife who kept bugging him to pass the pita bread.”
“A wise woman keeps her hands firmly in her pockets and does not accidentally unzip anything, including her mouth.”
“There are 146 countries above us where the men have longer lifespans, and the biggest blow is that even with four wives who don’t fast for them, the Arab men outlive our good old Indian dudes.”
“I have never had a facial in my life. I use a facewash, a sunblock, and then I am set, with some kohl pencil around my eyes.”
“My fashion cues come from my work, not the ramps of the world. I just keep working with so much colour, texture and structure, it rubs off!”
“I think till I reached my mid-30s, I just rebelled and rebelled. But eventually, the one thing I did pick up from mom was paying attention to my hair. We all put eggs, oil, dahi, even beer in our hair.”
“After sitting for two to three hours at a stretch, my feet just swell up. So I try to walk as much as I can.”
“While growing u,p I was the fattest girl in the class, and my name was Twinkle, so if I didn’t learn to laugh at myself, then I was going nowhere.”
“The thing about India is that even if the economic backgrounds are different, the cultural background is the same. Somebody who is working as a tailor will also tie a black thread around his kid’s wrist; so will somebody in Bollywood. That’s the fun of being Indian.”
“Was it my lifelong ambition to be in the movie business? No.”
“I am a bad actress. I know I am. I am realistic. I can’t even lie properly; how can you expect me to act?”
“I have always been immersed in a world filled with words, earlier as a reader and now, finally, as both a reader and a writer.”
“I was doing some research on menstruation for a column. I read about Arunachalam Muruganantham’s life and work, and his story gripped me, and that is when I sat down, wrote the first few pages, and sent them off to my editor to have a look.”
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